A Mother's Strength

True strength isn't measured by physical power but by the ability to embrace pain and use it to serve others. I share how a grieving Irish mother whose Marine son was killed alongside me revealed a kind of strength that redefined everything I thought I knew.

• The redefinition of strength through pain and vulnerability
• Staff Sergeant Cardin's funeral and the powerful moment when wounded Marines wept together
• Meeting Cardin's mother who comforted me instead of needing comfort herself
• Finding biblical parallels to this strength in the suffering servant of Isaiah 53
• Wrestling with survivor's guilt and the haunting question of "why me?"
• Learning to trust God's higher perspective when we can only see part of the picture
• Understanding that Christianity isn't subtraction but transformation of desires
• Moving from merely surviving to living with purpose and meaning

If you're holding onto guilt, fear, comfort or control because it's all you've ever known, today might be the day to let go. You don't have to have it all figured out, just take one step toward the Father whose arms have been open the whole time.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: The Nature of True Strength
• 2:17 Staff Sergeant Cardin's Funeral
• 5:00 The Irish Mother's Unexpected Strength
• 10:20 Survivor's Guilt and Hard Questions
• 14:20 Finding Purpose in Pain
• 18:10 Call to Action: Surrender and Rise

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome back. I'm Tyler Fulton. This is Combat Pastor Marina Ministry, and I've been blown up, broken down and built back by the grace of God. Now I serve as a husband, a father and a shepherd. I share stories of faith and family, marriage and mission, and I just want you to know that you're not in this alone. We're fighting together. So let's move out.

Speaker 1: 0:31

In the last few episodes we've been walking through what it really looks like to trust God. First we talked about how he provides when we least expect it. Then we looked at how he brings peace right in the middle of the chaos. Both of those themes show us who God is. But today we're going to pivot a little bit. We're going to look at something a little different.

Speaker 1: 0:53

Today we're talking about strength, and let me just say this up front yes, physical training is a gun of strength. It takes discipline, endurance and drive of strength. It takes discipline, endurance and drive. There's real value in that. But when life hits you hard, the strength that matters most often isn't always physical. It's the strength to keep going, to stay grounded, to hold the line when everything in you wants to give up. That kind of strength is something different. It's deeper. I used to think strength was about pushing harder, lifting heavier, achieving more. But life has a way of confronting that definition, of showing you that the strongest people aren't always the loudest, the biggest or the ones who never cry. Sometimes real strength is quiet, steady and forged in pain. For me, that redefining moment came from someone I never expected, a small Irish mother. Her presence, her words, her composure, those things showed me a strength no gym ever could. So today we're going to talk about what real strength looks like. It's not found in how much weight you lift. Real strength shows up when everything falls apart and you're still standing still, faithful, still showing up.

Speaker 1: 2:17

Staff Sergeant Louie Carton was killed just feet from me by the same rocket that tore through our position and left me wounded in the dirt. His death wasn't distant or abstract, it was personal. It was personal, violent and unforgettable. Louie wasn't just another Marine in the unit. He was a combat-tested leader, a steady presence we all looked up to, and now, just like that, he was gone. That loss, it hit deeper than I could explain at the time. So let me set the stage for you.

Speaker 1: 2:53

We were at Staff Sergeant Cardin's funeral. It was in California. I was still recovering from my injuries. It hadn't been that long. I was just out of the wheelchair, literally the day before I got out of a wheelchair, and it was my first time meeting his family. Staff Sergeant Cardin was a big deal in our unit and his passing left a hole.

Speaker 1: 3:20

The funeral was everything you'd expect Big, formal, emotional, but for me at that point tears just weren't coming. I was devastated but I hadn't cried yet Something about that moment maybe it was like the uniform 21 gun salute, the whole vibe it felt like I had to be strong. I had seen this in movies before, even though I was broken, I couldn't let myself show it. Have you ever been there when everything inside you is telling you to break down but you just can't? Anyway, after the ceremony we went to the vehicle that Staff Sergeant Carden's ashes were in the hearse or whatever it is, and the back door was open. Uh, just like urn box thing was in the back and that had garden's ashes in it. And that's when everything changed. One of the guys who's with me um, another marine that got hit he went up to the back of the hearse and he placed his hand on the urn and then he just started crying. And then another buddy of mine who had also gotten hit.

Speaker 1: 4:33

There was three of us at this funeral. Um, he goes up and he puts his hand on the other Marine's shoulder. Then I go up and I put my hand on his shoulder. Then we all just started crying. It was extremely powerful and before we knew it, all of us, young, battle-worn Marines, were standing there placing our hands on each other's shoulders, weeping together. It was this powerful bond forged in shared pain.

Speaker 1: 5:02

Eventually, we made our way through this long line of people that were offering their condolences to Sapson Cardin's mom. When it was our turn, the three of us went up, one by one, and had a moment with his mother. I stepped forward and I saw her standing there. She was this small but strong red-haired woman who was unmistakably Irish, and she had this well. It was a type of strength that I had never seen before, and as I walked up, she stretched her arms out to me, this broken, weeping boy, and I went right up to her. I'm talking about a mother who just buried her son, and here she was welcoming me in comforting me.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Now, I was a Marine right, a warrior, trained to be tough. I thought I knew strength, but when I got to her, I just collapsed into her arms. I was a grown man, a marine, and I cried like a child. I don't think I've ever felt more weak than I did in that moment. And you know what? She didn't have any tears of her own to shed, but what she had was strength, a strength that was beyond anything I'd ever seen before. She just rubbed my back, patted my arm and, in the most gentle voice, said I lost a son today, but I gained three more. If you ever need anything, I'm here. Y'all will always be my boys.

Speaker 1: 6:43

That moment revealed a kind of strength that I had never known before. I think the main thing that was making me cry was her strength. I had never experienced a strength like she had. How can you be that strong? I wanted to know. I wanted to understand why I was crying to her and how she was holding me, when, if you had asked me any other time, I would have said I would hold a mother once her son died. I had no idea it was going to be the other way around.

Speaker 1: 7:16

It brings to mind A suffering servant from Isaiah 53. Someone who's acquainted with grief and familiar with pain, yet choosing to carry the burdens of others. She didn't just endure her own loss, she stepped into our pain too, and in that way she showed a kind of strength that looked more like christ than I'd ever seen before. She wasn't hiding her pain, she was embracing it, sharing her strength others. She had just buried her son and yet there she was, holding me and giving me the love and strength I needed. It blew my mind. I felt like the weakest person in the world. Her strength didn't come from avoiding the pain. It came from embracing it and using that pain to serve others. That's where I learned the real meaning of strength.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Looking back now, now that I know the Lord, I know the gospel, I see something deeper in that moment with Karin's mom, the way she embraced us. That wasn't just a mother being kind. That was a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father embraces us. I mean, she had just buried her son and yet she wrapped us in her arms Like we were her own. That kind of strength doesn't come from within, it comes from above. God knows grief. He knows what it means to lose a son, and yet he still opens his arms to us, calls us his children and holds us when we're at our weakest.

Speaker 1: 8:52

That moment helped me understand that True strength isn't about keeping pain hidden or putting up a brave face. It's about stepping into someone else's hurt and offering comfort when you've got every reason to fall apart yourself. And that's what God does for us. That's who he is, you know. There's a verse in 2 Corinthians that came to mind while thinking back on all this Paul writes so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. That's it right there. That's what Karin's mom did. That's what God does. He comforts us Not just so that we can feel better, but so that we can carry the comfort into someone else's pain. It's not about having the answers or fixing someone's sorrow. Sometimes it's just about showing up with the same comfort God gave you when you needed it most. So who in your life do you need to embrace today? Like Karn's mom, you don't need to have all the answers to be a source of comfort. Look for ways to show God's strength by being present in someone's pain. Trust that when you feel too weak to offer help, that God's strength will flow through you and help lift them up, and thank God for being near you in your brokenness.

Speaker 1: 10:25

Now I want to shift gears here a little. The story's not over. I want to share something with you that's been on my heart for a long time, something I struggled with for years. After surviving the attack, I lived and Louis didn't. That's a hard thing to swallow, especially when you don't feel like you deserve the life that's been given to you. The guilt, it's heavy and it sticks with you. I would see his face in my dreams and the faces of strangers, even when I'm driving down the road. I would see his face on people in their car when they're passing by. It haunted me. It felt like a question I could never answer. Why was I spared? Why him and not me?

Speaker 1: 11:13

I went to his funeral, but it wasn't just to say goodbye to a brother. It was a reminder of what I couldn't change. The fact that I was still here and he was gone was a burden I carried every day. I didn't know how to process it. I cut people out of my life people to this day that I owe sorries to. I ended relationships. I stopped interacting with people. I stopped talking about it. I stopped doing anything that reminded me of that day. I was carrying the weight of his loss, but I also felt like I was carrying something I didn't deserve. I kept asking myself why me? Why did I come home while Louie' family had to welcome him back under a flag?

Speaker 1: 11:56

But here's where things started to change for me. I had to start trusting that God had a purpose for me, one I didn't fully understand at first, because trust isn't automatic. It's not something that just turns on with a prayer. I had to learn who God really is. I had to start reading, asking questions, wrestling with what I believed and why. The more I saw his faithfulness in small things, the more I could see it in the bigger picture. As my relationship with him grew, so did my understanding. I began to realize that, while I was only looking at the moment right in front of me, god was seeing the whole story beginning to end. His purpose was greater than my pain and his plan was so much bigger than the one that I had for myself. My plan was short-sighted, even selfish and naive. His plan was about redemption, legacy and impact, glorifying himself.

Speaker 1: 12:51

The more I leaned into him, the more the guilt began to loosen its grip on my life. I wasn't just surviving anymore. I was beginning to live with a purpose Once I started giving my pain to God. It didn't fix everything right away, but it started to make a little more sense. I began to realize that my survival was a mistake. It wasn't random. In everyday things, where I was who, I would interact with people that were impacted by my life. God had a purpose for it and me, and even though I didn't fully understand that purpose at the time, I could start to see glimpses of it as I continued walking with him. I stopped trying to make sense of it all on my own and I started to trust that God could use even this. He's that powerful. And then my guilt slowly turned into gratitude and my questions became prayers. As I leaned more into him, I began to understand that my life could be lived for something bigger than just myself. I could live to honor Louis' legacy, to serve others and to point people to the one who carried me through the darkest season of my life. I wasn't just moving on, I was moving forward, and while I still didn't have every answer, I knew the one who did.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Looking back now I realize something I didn't understand in the moment what felt like guilt, like a burden too heavy to carry, was actually being shaped into purpose by God. I didn't see it at the time. I just saw pain, loss and confusion. But God saw more. He was already weaving something eternal into what felt like a mess. And that brings me to a scripture that's helped anchor this perspective. For me it's Isaiah 55, 8-9. It says For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord, as the heavens are higher than the earth, and so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. That verse, it reminds me that God's view is so much bigger than mine. While I was asking why and struggling to make sense of it all, he already knew what he was doing. He knew the impact Louie's life would leave. He knew how that moment would shape me and how it would echo into the lives of others. I only saw the pain. God saw the plan.

Speaker 1: 15:17

It's kind of like standing too close to a painting. You can't see what it's becoming because your face is pressed up against one tiny part of the canvas. That's how we live most of our lives. We only see what's right in front of us, and when that part doesn't look good, we assume the whole picture is ruined. But God, he's not just seeing the brush strokes, he sees the whole masterpiece start to finish.

Speaker 1: 15:42

Sometimes we get upset when things change or fall apart, not realizing that God is addressing something that we don't even see yet, something further down the road that he's already preparing us for. So if you're walking through something right now that doesn't make sense, take this to heart. God's thoughts are higher. His ways are better, and even when you can't see the whole picture, you can trust that he does, and I think this is part of why so many people resist surrendering to God. They look at their current situation, the pleasures, comforts and even the sins that give them temporary happiness, and they can't imagine walking away from those things.

Speaker 1: 16:25

Christianity gets treated like a subtraction problem. Follow Jesus, lose everything you enjoy. But that's not the full picture. What actually happens is God begins to transform your heart. He changes what you seek. He replaces those destructive desires with something better, something that actually satisfies. As your relationship with him deepens, your purpose starts to become clear and the things you used to chase after start to lose their grip on you. Eventually, you find yourself in a place where your desires align with his plans, and when that happens, you don't just accept his leadership. You want it, you seek it, you enjoy it Because, in the end, when the things you once clung to fall away and the pleasures that used to define you lose their hold, you'll find peace in letting go, not because you're losing something, but because you're finally gaining everything.

Speaker 1: 17:28

You'll look back at what you surrendered and feel no loss, only gratitude, because your heart no longer aches for the temporary. It beats in rhythm with the one who gave you a new name, a new path and a new desire the desire to walk with him wherever he leads you. So let me leave you with this. Maybe you're holding on to something Guilt, fear, comfort or even control, because it's all you've ever known. But what if today is the day that you let go? What if the thing you're clinging to isn't saving you? It's keeping you from living the life God has been preparing all along?

Speaker 1: 18:13

Look at your life. Where are you relying on your own strength and where is God asking you to surrender? Who around you needs to see his comfort through your presence? Don't wait for the perfect moment. You might be the answer to someone's desperate prayer right now. If this episode has stirred something in you, don't let it fade in the background. Do something with it, share it, start a conversation with someone, let it challenge the people around you to think deeper, feel harder, live bolder.

Speaker 1: 18:51

And if you're at the edge, wondering if you've got anything left in the tank, if you're barely hanging on to what's left in your life, maybe you're not just at the end of your rope. Maybe you didn't even have a chance to tie a knot and hold on. But listen, that's not the end of your story. That's where God steps in, not to scold you, not to shame you, but to carry you. That's where grace proves it's stronger than failure and where surrender isn't giving up. It's stepping into a strength that was never yours to begin with, wondering if letting go of what's familiar is worth the risk.

Speaker 1: 19:32

I want you to hear me clearly it is. There's a life waiting for you that's more grounded, more meaningful and more alive than anything you've been clinging to. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just need to take one step towards the Father, whose arms have been open the whole time, lay it down, trust Him and watch what happens when you stop surviving and start walking in the strength he's been building in you all along. And if your faith is already in him. This is your call to rise too. You know his strength. You've tasted his mercy. You've seen what it looks like when God meets people in their ashes.

Speaker 1: 20:20

So now it's your turn to move. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. Take the risk when your heart starts to pound and you feel nervous to speak up about your faith. Say the name of Jesus when the world would rather you stay silent. This world is fading, and so are all the empty things it offers. Fix your eyes on what's eternal. You've been called to more than just comfort. You've been called to a mission. Step into it, be bold, be faithful and don't forget. The message hasn't changed. Go and tell the world about him. This is Combat, pastor. Stay in the fight, keep the faith, hold fast and remember you're not walking alone. I'll see you next time.